Picking up the Pieces

We all have them, days where our emotions just overflow and we cry and cry and cry some more.  Yesterday was my day.  It started out a normal day and I got my list together, paid bills, grabbed my girls and headed out the door to get my errands done.  While we were at our second stop life and stress started to overwhelm me.  I headed home and told my girls to go play.  I grabbed my Starbucks, phone, my Ipod and headed out to my front porch.  I proceeded to sit out there and just pour my heart out to the Lord.  All the things that scared me, all the things that were stressing me out, the decisions that felt so difficult and I just wanted Craig to be home.  Craig always knows what to say and reminds me that he will always take care of us.

As I sat there I forced myself to turn on my praise and worship music.  I know I must have been a sight sitting crying on my porch, coffee in hand and listening to music, but there I was desperately seeking God.  Desperately seeking peace.  Desperately needing the Spirit's ministry and something amazing happened...I got it.    As I began to listen to the words of a song I heard this verse:

God of Heaven come down, heaven come down.

Just to know you are near is enough.

God of Heaven come down.

If you know me well it won't surprise you I began to cry again as I realized the Holy Spirit heard my cry and had come to minister.  I so badly wanted to call a someone and talk out my struggles but the people I wanted to talk to were all unavailable, so I opened my phone to my YouVersion daily verse and this was my verse of the day:

It is better to take refuge in the Lord than to take refuge in man.

Psalm 118:8

It was at that point that I could feel my tears subsiding and the peace of my Lord surrounding me.  The next song that came on had this:

When you think you have hit bottom and the bottom gives way...

you don't know how you will make it...

Jesus will meet you there.

 At that point I took my YouVersion app and pulled up verses on trust and some of the ones I found were these:

The Lord will fight for you, and you have only to be silent.

Exodus 14:14

Not one word of all the good promises that the Lord had made 

to the house of Israel had failed; all came to pass.

Joshua 21:45

Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. 

In all your ways acknowledge him and he will direct your path.

Proverbs 3:5-6

I am the Alpha and the Omega, says the Lord God, who is and 

who was and who is to come, the Almighty.

Revelation 1:8

I listened to a song that said this:

Your name is a strong and mighty tower

Your name is a shelter like no other.

Finally I needed to walk in the house and get something and read this hanging on my wall:

Let us be silent so we may hear the whisper of God.

When I went back out I sat down with my journal and began reading all my notations from 2013 through now.  It was amazing seeing the hand of the Lord on our lives.  I needed to be reminded of specific times where he has comforted me, cared for my family, or provided for us in unexpected ways.  I found myself laughing and smiling, singing and praising.  During this 5 1/2 hour period of time I had one of my best friends call because she knew I was struggling because I had texted her.  We talked laughed and I was encouraged.  Also, during this time my oldest sister Karyl called and again we talked and I was able to share my heart and burdens.  But the moment my heart soared was the moment Craig's cruiser pulled up because his shift was over.  We talked, he listened, he did not try to fix my problems or worries...he just listened.  Then we figured out a game plan and after dinner and running a necessary errand, he let me put on my jammies and crawl into bed for the night.  I was off duty and he had the rest of the shift with the girls, so to speak.

Looking back over that day I can see why I needed that.  The Lord knew that our family right now is living in a period of stress and change.  These are good changes but change is never easy and can be very emotional at times.  The Lord made me a very emotional person and an oral processor to I am one who needs to talk things out and let my emotions flow.  I had not realized how much I needed to just release yesterday and I don't question the Lord pushed me to a point that would force me to sit and allow Him to minister...no one else...Him.

I woke up this morning full of peace knowing that it is all good.  Were major problems fixed...no, but I was able to truly take the time and give it all to the Lord.  Are you that way?  Do you carry burdens and worries you don't need to carry?  Are you like me and when a problem arises you feel like it is your responsibility to find an answer?  Do you strive to always put on a good and pretty face so people don't see the struggle and emotion you are feeling?  

There are times where we all need to take time out of our day, out of life and just stop.  We need to sit in the quiet and let the Lord speak.  We need to pour our our hearts to him.  We need to give him all or tears for he counts every one.  When we are at a point where we just are falling to pieces the Lord wants to be the one to pick them up and then it will allow the Lord to remind us that he love us so much,  he will not fail us, he will not let us fall but will catch us every time.