I am sad this morning. I am sad for the Wilson family as they struggle to mourn the death of their son. I am sad for Darren Wilson whose life is forever changed because he had to take a life. I am sad for the city of Ferguson, where there is so much anger, frustration and hatred. Having been married to a cop for 10 years I acknowledge that my perspective is different than many others but the one thing I do know is that the goal of the LEO community is peace. My husband would rather spend his day strolling the streets of Nashville, "Andy Griffith" style every day than deal with the struggles and troubles he must deal with daily. As I have read many of the posts by the media and the 92 page transcript of all that was said to the Grand Jury. It all makes my heart hurt.
As I have told my girls our world is broken and it is suffering from a deadly disease called sin. This sin permeates everything and everyone, there is no escape. On Sunday I listed to a wonderful sermon called My Crazy Family. In this sermon Perry Noble talks about how when things go wrong or we make a mistake someone must pay. Perry paints a beautiful picture of how Jesus was the one who paid for us.
This morning as I am sad I am so very prayerful. I am prayerful for the people of Ferguson who are angry that they will pause and not bring violence to their anger. I pray for those in Ferguson who are mourning that the violence would not exacerbate their sadness. I pray for the City of Ferguson that the LEOs would have calm clear minds to do their jobs and go home at the end of the day. Most of all I pray that Jesus would be seen in Ferguson and all over today. That His love would be spread through acts of kindness, forgiveness and healing.
Father in Heaven,
I come before you and lay all of this at your feet. None of this surprises you for you see all and know all. I pray you will lay your hand on Ferguson today and cover that city, those people and all involved with your amazing peace and love. Thank you for Jesus and his sacrifice to pay for our sin when we do not deserve it. As the children's song says, "red and yellow, black and white, they are precious in your sight..." I know you love all of us no matter the color, country, race, language or belief. All are welcome to receive your gift of love and grace.
May your love be seen and shown today, Amen
Tuesday, November 25, 2014
Wednesday, November 19, 2014
Early Christmas gone wrong
Traditionally I am the type of person who refuses to put up or listen to an ounce of Christmas until after Thanksgiving. This year I caved to the desires of my girls and agreed to put the tree up early. We are spending the holidays with just the 4 of us and I did like the thought of making my home feel all holiday cozy. I was also thinking this would be easy...NOT!
With my girls breathing down my neck because I was not moving fast enough I got the tree out of the box and began putting it all together. As I plugged in the lights (it's a pre-lit tree) my heart sank as none of them came on. I began to mess with the tree and as the complaints of my girls rose so did my frustration. I worked for 30 minutes and gave up. Deciding that the next day I would deal with each individual strand of lights.
The next morning my oldest Kathryn got 3 strands to work and they were at three separate sections of the tree and only lit up about 1/3 of the tree. As reality began to sink in that finding the burned out lights would be horrible I decided I would just go buy us a new tree. Simple huh...nope. As I began to look at the prices of the pre-lit trees and think about our journey to being debt free I began to get sick to my stomach, I could not bring myself to spend the money. So I did the only thing I new to do, I went to find my scissors. Carefully and methodically I took the tree apart and began cutting off all the lights. I needed to unplug the lights to remove them but that would mean I did not know where the working ones began or ended. So as my girls watched in horror I began to remove them all!
Yesterday afternoon I finished removing all the lights and went to Lowes to get me new / cheap lights to put on the tree. Will they be attached to the tree...no, but I love how inexpensive they were. I also love that as I began to think about the soft glow they will put off in the room I felt my excitement begin to build. You see, one of the things I love most about Christmas is the decorations and sitting in a dark room enjoying the glow of lights. I love this so much we have Christmas lights hung in our homeschool room year round.
As I look back over my past couple of days and my early Christmas gone wrong, I find myself thankful. I am thankful that I stuck to my guns and did not go buy a new and unnecessary tree. I love that it allowed me to have a couple great conversations with my girls about turning lemons into lemonade. Most of all I realized that my desire to not bring out Christmas before Thanksgiving has changed. You see Thanksgiving is a national holiday and is focused on family and our blessings. As I have thought about all that I am truly thankful for I keep coming back to Jesus. You see without Him nothing in my life would have its true meaning. When I asked my youngest what she was thankful for she said Jesus' Holy Spirit coming to live in her heart. (she was just baptized) At that moment I realized that to me Thanksgiving was changing. Am I thankful for America and all the pilgrims did, yes I truly am. However, I am more thankful for the gracious, loving, crazy God who would forgive me and take with with all my dirt, grime and wickedness. I am thankful that he would send is Son to die on a cross for people who hate him. So for me I love how by the end of today my dining room looks beautiful with a Thanksgiving centerpiece and decorations and my family room will be dressed up for Christmas. I think a change of perspective is exactly what I needed!
With my girls breathing down my neck because I was not moving fast enough I got the tree out of the box and began putting it all together. As I plugged in the lights (it's a pre-lit tree) my heart sank as none of them came on. I began to mess with the tree and as the complaints of my girls rose so did my frustration. I worked for 30 minutes and gave up. Deciding that the next day I would deal with each individual strand of lights.
The next morning my oldest Kathryn got 3 strands to work and they were at three separate sections of the tree and only lit up about 1/3 of the tree. As reality began to sink in that finding the burned out lights would be horrible I decided I would just go buy us a new tree. Simple huh...nope. As I began to look at the prices of the pre-lit trees and think about our journey to being debt free I began to get sick to my stomach, I could not bring myself to spend the money. So I did the only thing I new to do, I went to find my scissors. Carefully and methodically I took the tree apart and began cutting off all the lights. I needed to unplug the lights to remove them but that would mean I did not know where the working ones began or ended. So as my girls watched in horror I began to remove them all!
Yesterday afternoon I finished removing all the lights and went to Lowes to get me new / cheap lights to put on the tree. Will they be attached to the tree...no, but I love how inexpensive they were. I also love that as I began to think about the soft glow they will put off in the room I felt my excitement begin to build. You see, one of the things I love most about Christmas is the decorations and sitting in a dark room enjoying the glow of lights. I love this so much we have Christmas lights hung in our homeschool room year round.
As I look back over my past couple of days and my early Christmas gone wrong, I find myself thankful. I am thankful that I stuck to my guns and did not go buy a new and unnecessary tree. I love that it allowed me to have a couple great conversations with my girls about turning lemons into lemonade. Most of all I realized that my desire to not bring out Christmas before Thanksgiving has changed. You see Thanksgiving is a national holiday and is focused on family and our blessings. As I have thought about all that I am truly thankful for I keep coming back to Jesus. You see without Him nothing in my life would have its true meaning. When I asked my youngest what she was thankful for she said Jesus' Holy Spirit coming to live in her heart. (she was just baptized) At that moment I realized that to me Thanksgiving was changing. Am I thankful for America and all the pilgrims did, yes I truly am. However, I am more thankful for the gracious, loving, crazy God who would forgive me and take with with all my dirt, grime and wickedness. I am thankful that he would send is Son to die on a cross for people who hate him. So for me I love how by the end of today my dining room looks beautiful with a Thanksgiving centerpiece and decorations and my family room will be dressed up for Christmas. I think a change of perspective is exactly what I needed!
Monday, November 17, 2014
Overcoming the multi-tasking machine
In my last post "Trying to keep it between the ditches" I talked about the craziness of this time of year and how if we are not careful life will run like a freight train and we will miss it. The day after that post I was looking for a new book to read during my devotion time I came across a old Max Lucado book called "God Came Near". My version was published in 1987 but was republished in 2004. I love to read Max Lucado books but when I chose this one I was not ready for the journey the Lord was about to take me on.
As I read a phrase jumped out at me. "God goes to those who have time to hear him..." I read that phrase and my mind went straight back to my post about trying to keep it between the ditches. I have let the craziness and busyness of the last few weeks distract me. No wonder I feel like this...
"My personal list has gotten so big that I have stopped looking at it and just keep hoping the little helper fairies will come and complete some of the items for me. They haven't. So I just hit a stopping point wishing for change and forward momentum but continued to remain stagnant. Then I began to realize that this stagnant behavior was bleeding over into my quiet time. I have realized that in my personal walk I have reached a desert. A place where I desperately want to be fed and nourished but feel completely empty." - A segment from my post Changes on the horizon
As I read Max began to describe the stable where the baby Jesus was born. What it was like in that room at that moment.
"The stable stinks like all stables do. The stench of urine, dung, and sheep reeks pungently in the air. The ground is hard, the say scarce. Cobwebs cling to the ceiling and a mouse scurries across the dirt floor. A more lowly place a birth could not exist.
Off to the side sit a group of shepherds. They sit silently on the floor, perhaps perplexed, perhaps in awe, no doubt in amazement. Their night watch had been interrupted by an explosion of light from heaven and a symphony of angels. God goes to those who have time to hear him - on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds."
You see in some point to me I think Joseph and Mary were just trying to keep it between the ditches. They were expecting a new baby that they were told was the son of God, they were fleeing doing this census because they had no choice and what horrible timing...or was it? That little village was busting with people but the ones who were ready to hear God were a small group of shepherds.
Max closed with this... "Those who missed His Majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply were not looking. Little has changed in two thousand years, has it"
As we approach Thanksgiving next week and Christmas after that I realized that I don't want to be so busy, crazy and caught up in the freeway of life that I am not listening. I want to always make time in my life to hear the Lord. I am desperate for Him, I can't survive this life without Him. However, this world does a really good job at fooling us into thinking that we have it all under control. Between our computers, money, smartphones, tablets we are a multi-tasking machine, yet, it is this multi-tasking machine that can keep our focus so steady that even if God was speaking right to us...would we hear Him? Would we see the person He placed in our path? Next week as we sit down to spend time with family and appreciate the blessings we have, remember those blessings come from the Lord. He wants to talk to you...are you listening?
As I read a phrase jumped out at me. "God goes to those who have time to hear him..." I read that phrase and my mind went straight back to my post about trying to keep it between the ditches. I have let the craziness and busyness of the last few weeks distract me. No wonder I feel like this...
"My personal list has gotten so big that I have stopped looking at it and just keep hoping the little helper fairies will come and complete some of the items for me. They haven't. So I just hit a stopping point wishing for change and forward momentum but continued to remain stagnant. Then I began to realize that this stagnant behavior was bleeding over into my quiet time. I have realized that in my personal walk I have reached a desert. A place where I desperately want to be fed and nourished but feel completely empty." - A segment from my post Changes on the horizon
As I read Max began to describe the stable where the baby Jesus was born. What it was like in that room at that moment.
"The stable stinks like all stables do. The stench of urine, dung, and sheep reeks pungently in the air. The ground is hard, the say scarce. Cobwebs cling to the ceiling and a mouse scurries across the dirt floor. A more lowly place a birth could not exist.
Off to the side sit a group of shepherds. They sit silently on the floor, perhaps perplexed, perhaps in awe, no doubt in amazement. Their night watch had been interrupted by an explosion of light from heaven and a symphony of angels. God goes to those who have time to hear him - on this cloudless night he went to simple shepherds."
You see in some point to me I think Joseph and Mary were just trying to keep it between the ditches. They were expecting a new baby that they were told was the son of God, they were fleeing doing this census because they had no choice and what horrible timing...or was it? That little village was busting with people but the ones who were ready to hear God were a small group of shepherds.
Max closed with this... "Those who missed His Majesty's arrival that night missed it not because of evil acts or malice; no, they missed it because they simply were not looking. Little has changed in two thousand years, has it"
As we approach Thanksgiving next week and Christmas after that I realized that I don't want to be so busy, crazy and caught up in the freeway of life that I am not listening. I want to always make time in my life to hear the Lord. I am desperate for Him, I can't survive this life without Him. However, this world does a really good job at fooling us into thinking that we have it all under control. Between our computers, money, smartphones, tablets we are a multi-tasking machine, yet, it is this multi-tasking machine that can keep our focus so steady that even if God was speaking right to us...would we hear Him? Would we see the person He placed in our path? Next week as we sit down to spend time with family and appreciate the blessings we have, remember those blessings come from the Lord. He wants to talk to you...are you listening?
Saturday, November 15, 2014
Trying to keep it between the ditches
I love and hate this time of year. I love the fall with all the colors and the cooler weather. Having grown up in Utah and winter being snow, ice and endless cloudy days, I have really adjusted to a TN winter. All in all the weather is milder, it rarely snows, which is a good thing because people out here completely freak out. I love how I can spend most of the winter wearing cute coats with scarfs and wraps and be warm and comfortable. I also love Thanksgiving because it is a time where we purposefully give thanks for all the Lord does for us. My favorite part of this time of year is putting up Christmas decorations, because I love Christmas. I love putting lights on my house, however there have been years where they did not come down til February or March...oops.
All that said...there are things about this time of year I don't like. I don't like how commercialism starts to run like a freight train out of control. I don't like how if you are not careful you can loose sight of your contentment and the joy of Thanksgiving can be lost in 2 min of commercials or a 5 min trip into Walmart. I don't like how we do not live near any family so as people are preparing for family dinners, traditions, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles...you know the drill. It is just our little family. My a hubby who is a LEO working on holidays is a regular occurrence for us, so holidays with extended family are very hard to come by. We have been blessed to have many years where family has traveled to us but this year will be one where it will just be the 4 of us. It is years like think that I think I tend to over compensate.
It is not even Thanksgiving yet and I am feeling like our schedule some weeks is a run away freight train or a week of seeing the faces of my girls as I tell them "no" that is not in the budget. This week I unintentionally triple booked my girls on Saturday and realized that something had to give...deciding what to give up is not as easy as you think. At the same time we got to meet and spend time with new LEO friends who I know will continue to become members of our inner circle. So I have found myself awake at 3:30 AM, writing this blog post and when I tried to sum up how I feel all I could come up with is that I am just trying to keep it between the ditches.
It is important to me that my girls learn to experience God's love not just in their own lives but in the lives of all kinds of people. Whether through church, our homeschool play group, our inner circle, or through programs like Operation Christmas Child or donating at a local food pantry. You see I realized that in my desire to make family/spiritual memories I got a little ahead of myself this week. I have found myself asking the Lord to help me choose, give me wisdom and discernment to know that things He wants our family to experience. I also know that my Lord does not want us to go through the holidays or life feeling like all we are doing is keeping it between the ditches. That is where I am realizing that keeping our life slow, steady and allowing the Lord to direct us is vital.
I want to encourage you as the holiday freight train continues to gain speed, it is OK to decide to get off the train. Do something different. Create a new memory, tradition or experience that is not your normal pattern. I also want to encourage you not to let the "keeping up with the Jones's" syndrome drive your holiday season. Find a focus/theme and strive to plan your families holidays around that. This year I want our families theme to be a look into the lives of children around the world. Lately my girls are so caught up in what they want us to buy them, or listing out all their needs that they are missing all that the Lord has put right in front of them. So I want them to step out of their lives and into the lives of some other children. Tomorrow we are going to what is called a Compassion Experience and they will get to see what it is like in the life of a boy/girl who is sponsored my Compassion International. Sunday they are turning in their Operation Christmas Child boxes. You see my girls just gave their hearts to Jesus and asked His Holy Spirit to come live in their hearts. It is important to me that we begin to teach them to see through the eyes of Jesus and not the eyes of this world. I want them to step back and realized how crazy blessed we are, instead of always focusing on all the things they don't have. Most of all I want them to grow up striving to make sure Jesus is always the most important thing in their lives and not just someone celebrated a couple times a year and talked about on Sundays. I want them to live daily with Him. So don't let your life go at such a pace that you miss what the Lord is placing right in front of you. Don't just keep it between the ditches but slow down, check out the scenery, explore new things and most of all treasure each day/moment with your family. Trust me if you have not realized it yet but life moves at break neck speed and sometimes you just have to get off the beaten path.
All that said...there are things about this time of year I don't like. I don't like how commercialism starts to run like a freight train out of control. I don't like how if you are not careful you can loose sight of your contentment and the joy of Thanksgiving can be lost in 2 min of commercials or a 5 min trip into Walmart. I don't like how we do not live near any family so as people are preparing for family dinners, traditions, grandparents, cousins, aunts, uncles...you know the drill. It is just our little family. My a hubby who is a LEO working on holidays is a regular occurrence for us, so holidays with extended family are very hard to come by. We have been blessed to have many years where family has traveled to us but this year will be one where it will just be the 4 of us. It is years like think that I think I tend to over compensate.
It is not even Thanksgiving yet and I am feeling like our schedule some weeks is a run away freight train or a week of seeing the faces of my girls as I tell them "no" that is not in the budget. This week I unintentionally triple booked my girls on Saturday and realized that something had to give...deciding what to give up is not as easy as you think. At the same time we got to meet and spend time with new LEO friends who I know will continue to become members of our inner circle. So I have found myself awake at 3:30 AM, writing this blog post and when I tried to sum up how I feel all I could come up with is that I am just trying to keep it between the ditches.
It is important to me that my girls learn to experience God's love not just in their own lives but in the lives of all kinds of people. Whether through church, our homeschool play group, our inner circle, or through programs like Operation Christmas Child or donating at a local food pantry. You see I realized that in my desire to make family/spiritual memories I got a little ahead of myself this week. I have found myself asking the Lord to help me choose, give me wisdom and discernment to know that things He wants our family to experience. I also know that my Lord does not want us to go through the holidays or life feeling like all we are doing is keeping it between the ditches. That is where I am realizing that keeping our life slow, steady and allowing the Lord to direct us is vital.
I want to encourage you as the holiday freight train continues to gain speed, it is OK to decide to get off the train. Do something different. Create a new memory, tradition or experience that is not your normal pattern. I also want to encourage you not to let the "keeping up with the Jones's" syndrome drive your holiday season. Find a focus/theme and strive to plan your families holidays around that. This year I want our families theme to be a look into the lives of children around the world. Lately my girls are so caught up in what they want us to buy them, or listing out all their needs that they are missing all that the Lord has put right in front of them. So I want them to step out of their lives and into the lives of some other children. Tomorrow we are going to what is called a Compassion Experience and they will get to see what it is like in the life of a boy/girl who is sponsored my Compassion International. Sunday they are turning in their Operation Christmas Child boxes. You see my girls just gave their hearts to Jesus and asked His Holy Spirit to come live in their hearts. It is important to me that we begin to teach them to see through the eyes of Jesus and not the eyes of this world. I want them to step back and realized how crazy blessed we are, instead of always focusing on all the things they don't have. Most of all I want them to grow up striving to make sure Jesus is always the most important thing in their lives and not just someone celebrated a couple times a year and talked about on Sundays. I want them to live daily with Him. So don't let your life go at such a pace that you miss what the Lord is placing right in front of you. Don't just keep it between the ditches but slow down, check out the scenery, explore new things and most of all treasure each day/moment with your family. Trust me if you have not realized it yet but life moves at break neck speed and sometimes you just have to get off the beaten path.
Thursday, November 13, 2014
Changes on the horizon
Over the past year or so the Lord has really been working in our hearts to make changes, like trimming our budget even more, cutting back on clutter, taking account of all we really have and renewing our perspective of Him personally in our lives. I am a person who loves projects but if I am not careful I will take on several and then become so overwhelmed that nothing gets accomplished. I feel lately this is the picture of my life. I have this whole list of things I want to get done, whether with the girls in homeschooling, decluttering our house, continuing to be faithful to keep a tight budget or continuing to really impress on my girls their relationship with our amazing God.
My personal list has gotten so big that I have stopped looking at it and just keep hoping the little helper fairies will come and complete some of the items for me. They haven't. So I just hit a stopping point wishing for change and forward momentum but continued to remain stagnant. Then I began to realize that this stagnant behavior was bleeding over into my quiet time. I have realized that in my personal walk I have reached a desert. A place where I desperately want to be fed and nourished but feel completely empty.
As I type this I can hear the Lord telling my heart to go back to James where I was several months ago. I never finished the book, I let the craziness of life get in the way and it has remained unfinished. I also realized that part of me desperately wants to unplug for a while, especially from social media but I am too chicken. I know it is because I am afraid to miss out on something. I know it limits my ability to stay in touch with good friends and family but in reality I don't feel like I am connecting with people just lurking to see what is going on in their lives. To me Facebook has become the new "gossip" tool. Is it full of great encouraging information, yes absolutely! Is it nice to see pics from friends and family, yes. However, I also feel like it is keeping us from really investing in each others lives because we can check up with each other online.
As you can tell I am very torn but truly want to reach a point where I am listening to the Lord more than the world around me. Right now it feels like the world and all it's negativity is just screaming. So I am daring to do the unthinkable. I am deactivating my Facebook page. I know for most it seems crazy. To me it seems crazy but at the same time I keep thinking why am I so scared to unplug, even just for a couple of months. I have tried to not get on Facebook but with an active account it is just too much of a temptation and I get back on almost immediately. So I am trying something crazy and turning it off. My goal is to not have the page at least through the first of the year (January 2015) and maybe longer.
My desire is to find my focus again. Let go of my frustration and anger when it comes to politics and all the cop hate that is going around. I want my peace and joy again. I want to see if I am truly brave enough to take myself off the beaten path and unplug for a while. The following lyrics sum up how I feel right now and my prayer to the Lord.
My personal list has gotten so big that I have stopped looking at it and just keep hoping the little helper fairies will come and complete some of the items for me. They haven't. So I just hit a stopping point wishing for change and forward momentum but continued to remain stagnant. Then I began to realize that this stagnant behavior was bleeding over into my quiet time. I have realized that in my personal walk I have reached a desert. A place where I desperately want to be fed and nourished but feel completely empty.
As I type this I can hear the Lord telling my heart to go back to James where I was several months ago. I never finished the book, I let the craziness of life get in the way and it has remained unfinished. I also realized that part of me desperately wants to unplug for a while, especially from social media but I am too chicken. I know it is because I am afraid to miss out on something. I know it limits my ability to stay in touch with good friends and family but in reality I don't feel like I am connecting with people just lurking to see what is going on in their lives. To me Facebook has become the new "gossip" tool. Is it full of great encouraging information, yes absolutely! Is it nice to see pics from friends and family, yes. However, I also feel like it is keeping us from really investing in each others lives because we can check up with each other online.
As you can tell I am very torn but truly want to reach a point where I am listening to the Lord more than the world around me. Right now it feels like the world and all it's negativity is just screaming. So I am daring to do the unthinkable. I am deactivating my Facebook page. I know for most it seems crazy. To me it seems crazy but at the same time I keep thinking why am I so scared to unplug, even just for a couple of months. I have tried to not get on Facebook but with an active account it is just too much of a temptation and I get back on almost immediately. So I am trying something crazy and turning it off. My goal is to not have the page at least through the first of the year (January 2015) and maybe longer.
My desire is to find my focus again. Let go of my frustration and anger when it comes to politics and all the cop hate that is going around. I want my peace and joy again. I want to see if I am truly brave enough to take myself off the beaten path and unplug for a while. The following lyrics sum up how I feel right now and my prayer to the Lord.
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I will call upon Your name
Keep my eyes above the waves
My soul will rest in Your embrace
I am Yours and You are mine
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)