Changes on the horizon

Over the past year or so the Lord has really been working in our hearts to make changes, like trimming our budget even more, cutting back on clutter, taking account of all we really have and renewing our perspective of Him personally in our lives.  I am a person who loves projects but if I am not careful I will take on several and then become so overwhelmed that nothing gets accomplished.  I feel lately this is the picture of my life.  I have this whole list of things I want to get done, whether with the girls in homeschooling, decluttering our house, continuing to be faithful to keep a tight budget or continuing to really impress on my girls their relationship with our amazing God.

My personal list has gotten so big that I have stopped looking at it and just keep hoping the little helper fairies will come and complete some of the items for me.  They haven't.  So I just hit a stopping point wishing for change and forward momentum but continued to remain stagnant.  Then I began to realize that this stagnant behavior was bleeding over into my quiet time.  I have realized that in my personal walk I have reached a desert.  A place where I desperately want to be fed and nourished but feel completely empty.

As I type this I can hear the Lord telling my heart to go back to James where I was several months ago.  I never finished the book, I let the craziness of life get in the way and it has remained unfinished.  I also realized that part of me desperately wants to unplug for a while, especially from social media but I am too chicken.  I know it is because I am afraid to miss out on something.  I know it limits my ability to stay in touch with good friends and family but in reality I don't feel like I am connecting with people just lurking to see what is going on in their lives.  To me Facebook has become the new "gossip" tool.  Is it full of great encouraging information, yes absolutely!  Is it nice to see pics from friends and family, yes.  However, I also feel like it is keeping us from really investing in each others lives because we can check up with each other online.

As you can tell I am very torn but truly want to reach a point where I am listening to the Lord more than the world around me.  Right now it feels like the world and all it's negativity is just screaming. So I am daring to do the unthinkable.  I am deactivating my Facebook page.  I know for most it seems crazy.  To me it seems crazy but at the same time I keep thinking why am I so scared to unplug, even just for a couple of months.  I have tried to not get on Facebook but with an active account it is just too much of a temptation and I get back on almost immediately.  So I am trying something crazy and turning it off.  My goal is to not have the page at least through the first of the year (January 2015) and maybe longer.

My desire is to find my focus again.  Let go of my frustration and anger when it comes to politics and all the cop hate that is going around.  I want my peace and joy again.  I want to see if I am truly brave enough to take myself off the beaten path and unplug for a while.  The following lyrics sum up how I feel right now and my prayer to the Lord.

                                          Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders

                                                          Let me walk upon the waters

Wherever You would call me

Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander

And my faith will be made stronger

In the presence of my Savior

I will call upon Your name

Keep my eyes above the waves

My soul will rest in Your embrace

I am Yours and You are mine