Of Course I Trust You Lord...

We all know that life is full of surprises.  Many times we find ourselves wishing if things would just smooth out that life would be a little easier.  I am one of those people who catches myself saying, "If only...would happen"  or "If only we could...then".  I have been in this mode for the past several days because we received some unexpected news.

For the first time in a while we finally reached a point budget wise where we were getting ahead, excited about how we have been cutting our spending and it was finally showing through in our goal to get out of debt.  Then I received a letter from the company that holds my graduate loans.  The company is adjusting my payments and they are tripling the payment.  My payment was at a lower income sensitive rate and now they are shifting it back to the normal rate...the size of a car payment rate.  So my brain naturally begins to spin looking for ways to problem solve this issue but at the same time saying " I trust you Lord".  Then Sunday came and I went to church...

I was excited to meet the Lord in church but was not expecting the greeting I received.  Our Pastor opened his sermon with a picture of the Grand Canyon.

These give you an idea of what the Grand Canyon looks like if you have not seen it and they truly do not do it justice.  Then he showed us a picture of the small ditch in his front yard for rainwater to run through.  The below picture is not his ditch but it give you an idea of the comparison.

Our Pastor then began to talk about the greatness of God and now he not only made the Grand Canyon, but everything in this world, everything in the galaxy and everything in the universe.  As I am listening to this all I can hear in my head is the Lord saying to me, "If am this big...why won't you trust me?"

In the Sunday school class that morning I help teach we talked with our students about how God knew them before they were ever born or created.  Our verse was Jeremiah 1:5.

“I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb.

    Before you were born I set you apart

    and appointed you as my prophet to the nations.”

As we talked about this verse to our students, we wanted them to see how big God really is.  I loved the look on their faces when we told them God knew if they would marry, who their spouse would be, if they would have any children and what their grand children would be like.  Our God is that big!  So as I am sitting in church listening to the Pastor talk about how big God is and the Lord reminds me of our Sunday school class just before worship.  At this point if our church was a pentecostal style church, I swear I would have been prostrate in the aisle.

Do I trust the Lord?  Do I really trust the Lord?  I told myself, yes I do trust you Lord!  Then the Pastor began to talk about the story of Abraham and Sarah, where they said they trusted God for a son but decided they needed to help find a solution to God's promise.  Again, it was a moment where I could hear the Lord saying...really you trust me...how is that list in your head coming?

This was the point in the service it took everything in me to not be goo on the floor begging God for forgiveness.  You see, I was not trusting Him.  I have been trying to figure out what else out of our budget we cut, yet I realized he did not want me to cut anything else because He wants to solve this problem.  The Lord knew back when He was teaching Abraham that this letter about my loan money would show up last Thursday.  He knew exactly how much it would be.  He knew that it would feel impossible to me.  He knew this!  That is how big our God is.

So I did the only thing I knew to do.  During the prayer time I went to the altar, knelt before my God and just released all that is in my heart.  Do I feel better, absolutely!  I am full of peace.  Do I know how we are going to make this work budget wise...nope.  What I do know is this, my God reminded me that He is in charge, all this is His and I need to take care of what is in front of me right now and leave the rest of the details to Him.

 “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. 30 For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30